Bad, bad girls.
Yes. I’ve been pretty lazy with the blog entries lately. Life has been busy and full of non-stop things to do and accomplish. At the end of the day, I find myself couching in front of Tivo’d reality shows, letting my mind relax and my IQ drop ever so slightly.
Right now, I have a few select choices in my rotation: The Biggest Loser, Rock of Love Charm School and America’s Next Top Model. And, within each of these three reality worlds exists a, how do you say….megabitch? Or, quite frankly, women I love to hate.
So, without further ado, my current TOP 3 TV BITCHES I LOVE TO HATE:
#1: Tyra Banks
I know. This one is almost too easy. She is both egotistical and crazy. Smart, yet ignorant. After taking a few season’s off from the ANTM, I was sucked back in this season by a certain contestant…Marjorie. (I loved her awkwardness in person, juxtaposed with her confidence in photo shoots.) And, although I think this season’s group of girls is much better than some of the past seasons, I still can hardly stand to watch Tyra do her crazy talkin’. She might be the reason why Tivo was invented…to fast forward through every scene she’s a part of.
#2: Megan from Rock of Love Charm School (and, don’t forget, Beauty and the Geek):
Oh, Megan. You with your hot body and back-stabbing bitchiness. You’re almost so evil that I can’t help but love you. Now, I’m not sure what percentage of her body is “god-given” or doctor enhanced, but there’s no mistaking that, yes, if I had her body I would wear a bikini all of the time, too (even to the grocery, or the movie or maybe out to the dog park?). Sadly, she was booted out of Charm School a week ago, but not before Sharon Osbourne had a chance to call her out. It was marvelous and gratifying to hear Sharon put her in her place. Alas, there’s a little empty hole in my heart that misses Megan. Even though she was super conniving (but not evil like that pink-haired chic with the lip ring), there was never a dull moment (or a flaccid penis) when she was in the room.
#3: Vicky from The Biggest Loser (aka the craziest bitch of all):
Sure, she looks all nice and sweet and school teach-ery in this photo but don’t let her fool you. She is, quite frankly, pure evil. Crazy eyes. Check. Manipulative. Check. Would cut you when you weren’t looking. Check.
I mean, I’m speechless. While watching this week’s episode, my blood pressure went through the roof…her behavior caused me physical discomfort. I had this overwhelming urge to get on The Biggest Loser website and start name-calling. Completely juvenile, I know.
She, as trainer Bob admitted, is probably the biggest game player to date. Her husband was kicked off in a big twist this week (I love ya, Amy), and I’m sure the crazy bitch is going to be scrathing somebody’s eyes out before this thing’s over.
I hate to say this, but she’s the first person I’ve ever wished weight gain upon. In my dreams, she’d be at a weigh in, and the camera would keep showing her with her arrogant little smirk, occasionally throwing her head back, belting out her cackly witch laugh. Then that girl from Days of Our Lives would call her up to the scale where she’d shed her BL tshirt and jump on the scale. (Start dramatic music.) She stands there all confident, flipping off all of the other contestants until she realizes that the dramatic music has stopped and, to her surprise she’s gained, like, 30lbs in one week. Then everyone starts laughing and pointing at her (maybe there’s throwing of rotten food involved?) and she runs out of the BL gym crying.
Whew. That felt good.
November 16, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Yes i hate that woman too vicky that is she drives me insane…
November 18, 2008 at 9:43 am
One day, a couple of weeks ago, I was home sick from work. Bravo was playing a marathon of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” I had vowed to never watch this show.
At 10 a.m. on a Wednesday there was nothing else on, so… I watched. For about, oh, five hours? If you love catty bitches and extreme superficiality, it’s a smorgasboard. Seriously. I am ashamed of how much I love that show.
November 18, 2008 at 10:05 am
1. tyra is a wackadoo. i love that she has no idea what a colossal joke she is. i realize she is rolling in cash, so it clearly works for her, but she’s a crazy drag queen trapped in a super model’s body. and truly, has anyone ever loved themself more?
2. megan has the best bod ever. and this is ALL she has. she is one of the most shallow, inane, idiotic and catty bitches i have ever seen. and i can’t even look at her without thinking of the vd photos they showed us in jr. high health class. but i’d love to catch up with her when she’s 70. that would be a treat.
3. i haven’t been sucked in to this season’s biggest loser as much as some in the past, but i have caught a few episodes and i’m glad to know i’m not the only one who thinks vicky is simply atrocious. i understand “playing the game” but i think she’s just concentrated evil. maybe her husband will wake up during this time alone and get into the witness relocation program, cause you know he’s got to live in fear of her. oh, i’d pay top dollar to see jillian kick the shit out of her. you know it’d be brutal.
4. i’ve never watched any of the housewives shows, but i have to admit to stopping on it the other day when one of them (the one with the mountains of synthetic “blonde” hair) was “singing”. why the quotes? ummm, you’d not ask if you saw it. it was SO BAD. seriously, i am tone deaf, and drunk in the shower i sound better than this hooch who somehow thought she could have a professional career. i didn’t change the channel until they shifted to one of the other moneyhumpinhos. i’m sure the show is idiotic, but her time in the studio was magnificent. really, jaw-droppingly awesome.
i have to admit though, i almost envy each of these chicks in their complete absense of self-awareness. it must be wonderful to wake each morning totally confident that you are the sun and stars and your farts smell of rainbows and unicorn breath, knowing everything will always go your way. well, envy them when i’m not hoping for their inevitable downfall, that is.