Archive for August 2008

I’m SUCH a girl!

August 29, 2008

Otherwise, there’s no way in hell that I would’ve even watched one minute of one episode of what could potentially be, sigh, my new favorite catty/dramatic/ridiculous/”reality” show obsession.

That’s right, I’m officially obsessed with:

Rachel Zoe and her craptacular (yet, still addictive) new Bravo reality series, The Rachel Zoe Project.

First, let me say that Rachel’s assistant, Brad, reminds me a little bit of a young Jim J. Bullock and I have always (ALWAYS!) had an unnatural obsession with the Jim J. So, that’s obviously a reason to keep tuning in. Then there’s her other assistant, Taylor, who is a raving bitch (I think she would take that as a compliment), who isn’t as big of a fan of Brad as I am, it seems. So, it’s hard to turn away from all the catty drama…it’s like a train wreck, full of bitchy punk girls and sensitive gay men.

Then there’s Rachel, who seems to be her own little train wreck. Watching the previews, it does give the impression of a monster-sized dramatic roller coaster ride. Let’s just say I have my TIVO season pass ready to roll for the season premiere on September 9th, and leave it at that.

Fifteen.

August 28, 2008

No, I’m not talking about the super-dramatic yet kind of addictive teen Nickelodeon drama (because it was so bad it was good), that aired from 1990-1993, starring Ryan Reynolds. I’m talking about the number of years I’ve been out of high school and the number that appeared before the words “Year High School Reunion” on the invitation I received last month.

Deep sigh….I attended my Fifteen Year High School Reunion last Saturday and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I didn’t have a horrible time, but I can’t say that I had a fine time either. There was a small attendance and, of those small numbers, I can honestly say that I was happy to see maybe 9 or 10 people. That may sound bad. I realize this. I realize that there’s a chance that some people could read this and think, “I was there. It was awesome. Amy’s such a bitch.” And, to those people I say, “well, I probably never liked you (and vice-versa) anyway. And, we definitely have nothing in common then or now.” (wow. that felt good.)

Seriously, most of my ex-classmates have aged well and mellowed out or matured in their necessary ways. We danced. We laughed. We talked. We tolerated. It was very similar to high school.

I realize, though, that there are a handful of reasons why people attend their high school reunions:

  1. They look fantastic
  2. They have a great job and are very successful
  3. They still live in their home town and it’s convenient
  4. They want to see how bad everyone aged so that they can feel better about themselves
  5. They truly want to see everyone and wish them well (this is a very, very small percentage)

I mean, let’s face it. Very few people go to their high school reunions who are penniless, as big as a barn and lack the success they feel necessary (either truly or just in their head). Reunions are about bragging and showing and pointing and feeling better about where you are in your life, because “that girl was totally mean to me in high school and now she ‘seems’ unhappy and has the same hair she had in 1993 and I’ve changed.”

Why do I know this? Because, about halfway through last Saturday, I realized I was one of those people. I realized just why I wanted to go back…to prove that I had become someone and that I wasn’t ugly and plain and shy anymore. Did I really need to prove that to these people? No. But, see, I don’t think those were my only intentions leading up to attending the reunion, because I honestly wanted to see a handful of people. When said handful didn’t show up, I was standing there, looking at the same popular girls and boys talk to the same popular girls and boys. And, the less popular crowd talk to the other people from the less popular crowd. Again, it was the high school lunchroom all over again. Not much has changed. Maybe not even me.

But, there was a bright spot. I reunited with a couple of very close friends who I had lost touch with. And that should have been my ONLY reason for going back all along:

The AMD Logo Project: Day 3

August 27, 2008

Back in the saddle and being very initial-y and full of stars:

Craftuesday. Cast off.

August 27, 2008

Well, look at me. I’m officially a knitter. (can I say that now? I’m not really sure.)

My friend, Stacie, invited me over to her house last night for wine and sundaes (yes, I had an ice cream sundae that probably equaled about 15 points but, what the hell, right? I’m still down 7 lbs), drag queens and knitting lessons. The sundaes were delicious and the drag queens, courtesy of last week’s episode of Project Runway, were divine (with the exception of Mr. Taste Level’s creation…I hope the door didn’t hit his impeccable taste on his way out). The wine flowed and the knitting lesson began. Last nights lesson: casting off. I chipped a nail, but I’m proud to say I finished my first scarf-type-thingy:

You’ll notice a little “lean” to my scarf. Yes, I started on what would be your left side and ended on the right. Is it a reflection of my Virgo-ness that my first 10-20 rows were a little tightly wound…errr, I mean, knit? Hmmmmm. Something to think about.

Also, you can probably see the one dropped stitch there on the left half. It’s true: I’m not perfect and this scarf-type-thingy is proof of that point. Which, you know, I don’t want to be perfect. I like being a little off…I like my slightly janky scarf-type-thingy. With the addition of a little toggle button, I’ll be riding in mediocre, one-of-a-kind style. And that’s how I roll.

Here I go writing about Mad Men again.

August 25, 2008

Jeez. I know. I know. It’s obvious by now that I’m infatuated with the style on this show. I can’t help it.

After having my love for the show decline, last night’s episode wet my appetite for what’s to come. For one thing, there was more drama and fewer bedroom scenes (which tend to bore the hell out of me). More happened all around and new character was introduced…Don’s new secretary, Jane. I’m in love with her…not with her as a person, but with her wardrobe. I am obsessed with two of the dresses she wore in Episode 5…this one (on the right):

And, there’s this other one that I can’t seem to find anywhere on the web: It was this grey-ish blouse/blood red pencil skirt combo. Grrrrrr. If anyone finds and image of it out there in cyberspace, please send it my way. Pretty please.

What will normal feel like?

August 22, 2008

I just uploaded my photo to the Wardrobe Remix group for the first time since last week. I titled it the above. It’s the thing I’ve been asking myself all day.

As most of you know or could gather, my father passed away last Sunday. It wasn’t a complete surprise, but that didn’t make it any easier. Going through the motions of planning a funeral did, surprisingly. There’s something comforting about having a task list and knowing you have a date in which those tasks need to be finished. And, on top of that, knowing that you’re doing it for someone who you loved, who is no longer with you. As a tribute to their life. And you don’t want to fuck it up.

So, now I’m grieving. I feel kind of normal and, sometimes, that makes me feel guilty. But, I still have these moments of pain…like, when I balanced my Quicken today and had to enter the receipt from last Friday (the last day I saw him) and I saw the Diet Dr. Pepper he asked me to buy on it. The man loved his Diet Dr. Pepper.

I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I seek therapy through retail purchases. Am I proud of this? No. Does it mean I will stop doing it? Probably not.

The day before my dad’s viewing, in an attempt to soothe my aching heart, I bought the two pairs of boots that I’d been wanting from Zappos:

The box is unecessarily large and it’s been sitting in my office all week. The red boots are a little too Super Woman for me normally, but at this point in time, I welcome the help. (Plus, they kind of remind me of the boots my parents used to buy me on trips to Arkansas. We would always stop at places like Boot City or some other janky truck stop/boot outlet, and my sister and I would get our very own pair.)

But, mostly, I’ve realized that all of the clothes and money and shit just don’t mean anything without good people around. Not to poo-poo on my need for retail therapy (which, let’s be honest, mostly only feels good while you’re doing it and always makes you feel a tiny bit worse later) but, throughout this week, my friends have been amazing and have meant more to me than anything in this world. Incredible. If I were to put it into style terms, I’d say that good friends are the best accessory one could have.

So, after all of these random thoughts, what will normal feel like? I’m not sure. I know that my normal will be different from what it was before, but I know that I can be okay. Eventually.

My dad.

August 18, 2008

The things I got from my dad:

  • My blue eyes
  • My short stature
  • My strong legs
  • My artistic abilities

The things I learned from my dad:

  • If you believe and have courage, you can do anything you set your mind to.
  • Never, ever be ashamed of who you are.
  • Never give up.

My dad was the strongest person I know. He fought hard and he held on for so long. I will miss him so much.